Bro And White
Thursday, April 15, 2010
Spotted: Panda On College
If this panda was around more often, he would be #1 Because material. Please report all Penn State Panda sightings please.
If this panda was around more often, he would be #1 Because material. Please report all Penn State Panda sightings please.
Labels: College, Panda, Spotted
¶ 3:46 PM 0 Comments
Bro of the Week: That Guy With The Twitter
This week's bro of the week is none other than the Diversity Life committee chair in the student government whose twitter was reportedly just a series of n-bombs, homophobic and and racial slurs strung together by #swagger hashtags. c'mon bro, you're making the rest of us look bad.
It is for this reason that I feel I am forced to put the entire Sigma Nu house on double-secret probation until further notice. #swaggerjack
This week's bro of the week is none other than the Diversity Life committee chair in the student government whose twitter was reportedly just a series of n-bombs, homophobic and and racial slurs strung together by #swagger hashtags. c'mon bro, you're making the rest of us look bad.
It is for this reason that I feel I am forced to put the entire Sigma Nu house on double-secret probation until further notice. #swaggerjack
Labels: Bro of the Week
¶ 3:25 PM 0 Comments
Tuesday, April 13, 2010
#1 Because: Cheap Sunglasses
I never buy expensive sunglasses, bro. These ones are pretty cool anyway. ¶ 1:06 PM 0 Comments
I never buy expensive sunglasses, bro. These ones are pretty cool anyway. ¶ 1:06 PM 0 Comments
Man Bracket Round 1: Tiger Woods vs Bill Murray
Tough matchup. You have the world's best golfer slash guy who nails blondes, and you have the guy from Ghost Busters. Tiger has won a lot of Masters and nailed a lot of blondes, two of the main tenants of bro-ocity, but Bill Murray saved the team at the end of Space Jam.
Advantage: Bill Murray
Tough matchup. You have the world's best golfer slash guy who nails blondes, and you have the guy from Ghost Busters. Tiger has won a lot of Masters and nailed a lot of blondes, two of the main tenants of bro-ocity, but Bill Murray saved the team at the end of Space Jam.
Advantage: Bill Murray
Labels: Bill Murray, Man Bracket, Tiger Woods
¶ 12:49 PM 0 Comments
Wide Left: Visitors Who Complain About How Big Penn State Is
This past weekend I had some bros from high school come visit and all they did the whole time was complain about how far everything was from everything else. I don't care if it only takes you three minutes to get to all your classes. We Are Penn State, bro. We're like a huge land-grant university bro. This isn't your little mom-and-pop liberal arts school in New England, bro. our professors don't smoke tweed pipes and wear corncob jackets or whatever. they give us bonus points on exams if we beat Michigan. I walk from my chapter house to the buisness building like six times a week bro. Stop complaining bro, because this party we're going to is going to be like if everyone at your three minute school was cool and drunk and dancing to T.I.. Get on our level
P.S. I understand you're intimidated by the size of the student body and you feel you'd "just get lost" in a place so big. Stop saying that, you sound like a pussy.
This past weekend I had some bros from high school come visit and all they did the whole time was complain about how far everything was from everything else. I don't care if it only takes you three minutes to get to all your classes. We Are Penn State, bro. We're like a huge land-grant university bro. This isn't your little mom-and-pop liberal arts school in New England, bro. our professors don't smoke tweed pipes and wear corncob jackets or whatever. they give us bonus points on exams if we beat Michigan. I walk from my chapter house to the buisness building like six times a week bro. Stop complaining bro, because this party we're going to is going to be like if everyone at your three minute school was cool and drunk and dancing to T.I.. Get on our level
P.S. I understand you're intimidated by the size of the student body and you feel you'd "just get lost" in a place so big. Stop saying that, you sound like a pussy.
Labels: buisness building, distances, t.i., wide left
¶ 12:31 PM 0 Comments
Wednesday, April 7, 2010
#1 Because: Feeding the Ducks
Listen: there's one place on campus with any water and that's the tiny little pond outside the Alumni Center by Willard. I don't care what the sign says, I'm feeding these ducks, bro. ¶ 12:44 PM 0 Comments
Listen: there's one place on campus with any water and that's the tiny little pond outside the Alumni Center by Willard. I don't care what the sign says, I'm feeding these ducks, bro. ¶ 12:44 PM 0 Comments
Tuesday, April 6, 2010
#1 Because: HUB Lawn
All winter long I'm jonesin' for some place where my bros and I can rock our Jordans and sleeveless steez and toss around a football like back when I used to play in high school and see some honeys in bikinis. Enter the HUB lawn. As soon as the weather gets nice out, the HUB lawn transforms from Siberian Wasteland Tundra into South Beach Miami. I thought I saw D-Wade but it was just a DX brother in a Heat jersey. I swear, Nelly and Will Smith are going to be coming out of the woodwork to write a song about this place.
All winter long I'm jonesin' for some place where my bros and I can rock our Jordans and sleeveless steez and toss around a football like back when I used to play in high school and see some honeys in bikinis. Enter the HUB lawn. As soon as the weather gets nice out, the HUB lawn transforms from Siberian Wasteland Tundra into South Beach Miami. I thought I saw D-Wade but it was just a DX brother in a Heat jersey. I swear, Nelly and Will Smith are going to be coming out of the woodwork to write a song about this place.
Labels: #1 Because, HUB
¶ 2:19 PM 0 Comments
Man Bracket Round 1: Pharrell Williams vs Dick Cheney
If this were a "Coolest Bro" bracket, this match would not even be a contest. Pharrell Williams of the Neptunes, of Billionaire Boys Club, of Pharrell Williams, is arguably the coolest person living or dead. He hangs out with the best rappers of all time and designs cool t-shirts. I mean, borderline Ed Hardy-level cool. But then there's Dick Cheney. For starters, Cheney shot a lawyer in the face, and then got the lawyer to apologize. Cheney was formerly Vice President to President George W Bush, one of the community's most respected bros of all time. Dick invaded Iraq to make a buck. Exposed Penn State Alum Valerie Plame as the chick from Alias or whatever. Pharrell is cool, but Dick is no joke.
Advantage: Dick Cheney
If this were a "Coolest Bro" bracket, this match would not even be a contest. Pharrell Williams of the Neptunes, of Billionaire Boys Club, of Pharrell Williams, is arguably the coolest person living or dead. He hangs out with the best rappers of all time and designs cool t-shirts. I mean, borderline Ed Hardy-level cool. But then there's Dick Cheney. For starters, Cheney shot a lawyer in the face, and then got the lawyer to apologize. Cheney was formerly Vice President to President George W Bush, one of the community's most respected bros of all time. Dick invaded Iraq to make a buck. Exposed Penn State Alum Valerie Plame as the chick from Alias or whatever. Pharrell is cool, but Dick is no joke.
Advantage: Dick Cheney
Labels: Dick Cheney, Man Bracket, Pharrell Williams
¶ 2:43 AM 0 Comments
Legend: The Guys Who Write Video Game FAQs on the Internet
Raise your hand if you've played a video game. Alright, put your hand back on your macbook. Listen, video games are sweet until they get confusing. How do you unlock Funky Kong in Mario Kart Wii? What do I have to kill to get a red laser sight on every assault rifle in CoD-MW2? I'm playing video games to relax, not to work.
There are, somewhere out there in the ether, nerds typing up walkthroughs that are pretty much free Nittany Notes except they aren't red. Who are these mysterious hordes of nerds who can spelunk every dungeon in Zelda and type up maps using only plus and equal signs like some sort of mathematical cartographer at the same time? Who has the balls to log onto gamefaqs.com, see there are already six full walkthroughs for GTA4, and still make their own? This, is stuff of legend. Next time you boot up your Xbox, pour out a little Natty for these anonymous kings.
There are, somewhere out there in the ether, nerds typing up walkthroughs that are pretty much free Nittany Notes except they aren't red. Who are these mysterious hordes of nerds who can spelunk every dungeon in Zelda and type up maps using only plus and equal signs like some sort of mathematical cartographer at the same time? Who has the balls to log onto gamefaqs.com, see there are already six full walkthroughs for GTA4, and still make their own? This, is stuff of legend. Next time you boot up your Xbox, pour out a little Natty for these anonymous kings.
Labels: Internet, Legend, Video Games
¶ 2:35 AM 0 Comments
Monday, March 29, 2010
#1 Because: Clicker Classes
Listen, I don't think I even need to tell you that I look for maximum hanging out time in my day. I also don't need to tell you that attendance-based classes are lame. Unless, of course, they are clicker classes. It's not important if you go, just that your clicker goes. So you and your brothers can all schedule some massive Forum class together and just make one pledge go for all of you. Bam. More time to play Call of Duty.
Listen, I don't think I even need to tell you that I look for maximum hanging out time in my day. I also don't need to tell you that attendance-based classes are lame. Unless, of course, they are clicker classes. It's not important if you go, just that your clicker goes. So you and your brothers can all schedule some massive Forum class together and just make one pledge go for all of you. Bam. More time to play Call of Duty.
Labels: #1 Because, Clickers
¶ 5:11 PM 0 Comments
